[HDM] Fwd: To the assembled delegates of Ryoko Owari
alphagarou at mailcity.com
Thu Jan 27 00:30:27 EST 2000
On Wed, 26 Jan 2000 19:12:35 JoshnMolly wrote:
>Here is my opening salvo on Ryoko Owari.
>Please read it and comment if you would like. But be kind,
I will do my best, if I may.
>as I have spent three days working on it including two sleepless nights,
Erg. Had I known that I'd certainly have cut you a lot more slack. Haven't had enough sleep myself of late.
- - - - -
She seeks one of you to be the second for her gempukku.
[I think someone else caught that one. Could be worse, we could all have to undergo seppuku at 16 :) <j/k> ]
It is the job of you, the samurai of the great clans of Rokugan, to insure that that soul is indeed worthy of a thunder and the new
[I have to agree that "it is the duty" would sound better, and I think "new Lady Moon" might sound better than "goddess" which has some other implications.]
In that light, I humbly and somewhat immodestly
[Is it possible to be humble and immodest at the same time?]
for I am merely a mere Kitsuki by training.
[redundant - I think someone caught this already]
To the Crab: The Empire would be lost without your strength, but your strength is also your greatest weakness. Now is the time to make your weakness your greatest strength.
[that sounds... Dragon-y enough. But it might result in a lot of puzzled Crabs :) ]
The blood between the Lady Hitomi and your
champion runs deep indeed. If that blood should flow again, the Lady has promised that it shall be the blood of siblings and not of enemies. Drink deep, my friends, drink deep, for you will need it in the long nights to come.
[This art, Josh, was one of my true favorites. i like it, and I hope that Yakamo and Hitomi can settle their bad blood before this.]
To the Lion: The ancestors have not forsaken you. If you listen carefully, their song can be heard in the wind. If you capture that wind, you will regain your honor, but only your honor can capture the wind.
[another very nice passage. If it persuades even one Lion to set his feet back on the path of honor, you will have done a great deed.]
To the Mantis: You are the youngest child, and you resent the weight that your older siblings place upon your shoulders.
[If they resent being called "child" it only proves Hoshi's words :) ]
To the Naga: Once you ruled these lands as far as the eye could see. Now you feel trapped in a world not of your own making. Friends you are not, but neither are you enemies.
[As a Native American, I can hear much truth in these words!]
The Empire will have to live with your choice, and your sleep will be in vain if you
[It would be a "wake-up" call indeed!]
To the Scorpion: You are the masters of lies,
[I do not think they will be offended by this - they admit it! "Was it all true, Garak?" "All of it, my dear Julian." "Even the lies?" "*Especially* the lies..."]
To the Brotherhood of Shinsei: No words are necessary, for you understand.
- - - - -
All in all, Josh, you've done quite well with this. Presenting it as a letter from Hoshi is a wonderful touch. I have to say, I was wrong. If anyone gets their britches in a bunch over this, maybe they need to go back to playing Pokemon...
This is the kind of public image people need to see to cut through all those misconceptions of the Dragon. I hope it goes over well.
Shaun Scott aka Hida Okami
Crab Clan Orator * Dragon Clan Samurai
"Speak softly, and carry a big stick" - some Crab diplomat with a gaijin name.
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